My Donation

Back in September, after a month of sending me letters and gifts in the mail everyday, C. had something even better delivered to my house...herself! I was healing from surgery and couldn't do too much. We stayed in and watched movies. We went for small outings in Los Osos when I had the energy. I was so happy to do things that didn't relate to having cancer. After a month of what felt like driving to appointments and procedures every other day, it was such a luxury to stay home, or in the neighborhood. We walked to the bakery, the coffee shop, the farmer's market. I don't think we drove into San Luis more than once that whole week.

When we did make that drive all the way into town, it was to go to the bookstore, of course. I don't remember what I bought at Barnes and Nobles that day. Trailrunner magazine? Spanish in 90 Days? I don't remember what C. bought either. But, we must have bought something because I very clearly remember standing in line behind her, waiting for my own turn at the check-out counter.

When it came, the young clerk asked me, had found everything I was looking for? I was happy to say that I had.

She asked me if I had a membership card. I didn't, but she let me use C.s card, which was nice.

Then she asked me, would I like to donate a dollar to breast cancer today? That's when I punched her in the face.

Well, no. Of course I didn't do that. But I felt like it for a moment. Not because I was angry or wanted to hurt her or anything. It was more like an automatic response to shock and surprise. It was like being in an old fashioned, slapstick cartoon. I felt like a bucket of cold water dropped on me suddenly from a atop a carefully propped door. I felt like I'd stepped on a rake and the handle just flew up and hit me in the face.

The surge of adrenaline flooding me at that moment moment was amazing. I could have scaled a building, or jumped over a river, or lifted a car. I could have done these things, maybe, if my entire right side hadn't been all wounded and sore.

I think this over reaction on my part was probably just do to the fact that I didn't want to think about breast cancer anymore. Finally, I had the luxury of NOT thinking about it. I was in pain and I was tired, but I was okay and I didn't have to think about it anymore! Until this young woman shoved it in my face without warning.

Also, I may have been irritated at her lazy and inaccurate grammar.

"Do you want to donate a dollar to breast cancer?"

"No thank you. I just donated my right tit to breast cancer. I think I've given enough for this year."