This Is That Moment

I've always wondered when I would have that moment; the one where you finally really know for sure that you are an adult.

I know people have it at different times, early and late. I imagine my mother had it when she gave birth to me at age 20. Or, maybe she had it a few years later when she found herself raising two small girls alone. I'll have to ask her. I suspect my father never had that moment at all. It's too late to ask him.

I was surprised at 35 that mine hadn't come yet. But, I hadn't yet bought a home, or gotten married, or had a baby. I figured once I settled down and did one or all of those things I would finally feel like I was really grown-up.

But it wasn't a person or a house that did it for me. It was a machine.

I was standing in front of it, naked from the waist up. A woman I'd never met before was helping me lean forward the proper degree so she could gently place my bare breast on a cold shelf. As soon as she had me positioned, she started to crank the upper plate down so my breast would be smashed between the two plates. Watching that arm lower towards me during my first mammogram, I finally had that feeling.

There's no turning back. I'm really a grown up now.